I have never been the girl who has been able to call a bitch a bitch. I know what I would like to say to the egotistical, psycho but like any good grenade it is on a time delay I might think that she is nothing but a self important bitch, but that only gets voiced in the safety of my home surrounded by the friends and family.
Instead of voicing my opinion my filter takes hold and I swallow that pent up rage and it comes out my eyes in the form of tears. My mother says this is something I get from and "for that I am truly sorry." This is how I came to the conclusion that a career as a super spy is not in my future. You don't see Bond get all teary eyed every time the bad guy escapes his grasp. I honestly wish I had the confidence to verbally punch someone in the face with out blinking. That kind of power is to be held in awe.
Because I am lacking in the verbal trouncing department I spent the majority of my childhood be trounced verbally. Now I will admit (after some 19 years) that part of this childhood abuse was because I was cuter, smarter and generally better at all things I tried then the rest of my peers and if you don't believe me just as my momma. (sports not being a thing) However, the name calling and teasing that plagued me throughout my childhood and into my undergraduate years has stopped. This is because while I still can not deliver the lingual K.O. I no longer hang around those who do not appreciate the fact that I am cute, smart, and generally accomplish all tasks I put my mind to.
As for the filter removal, it is a work in progress. I am starting with "you are a poop head" and working my way up.
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